Goodbye
by freakanatomy
Summary: Goodbye was always your word


**Disclaimer: I do not own SON**

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><p><span>Goodbye Was Always Your Favorite Word<span>

Spencer was sitting back stage in her dressing room waiting for her signal to go on stage. She was nervous because tonight was the last time she planned on singing and playing the piano in front of a live audience. This was not due to the fact to was a rubbish singer, in fact Spencer was one of the top rated singers In the world but she was to quit singing due the fact she had lose the passion the joy of singing in front of thousands of people . Two minutes earlier Spencer had spotted Ashley was in the audience. Front row as well. This was her worst day in ever. She hadn't seen Ash in over 6 months , not that that was her fault, it was just Ashley never contacted her again after that night in hotel. She couldn't blame her either after all that night in the hotel room that was her fault.

Half a year earlier

Spencer and Ashley were lying in bed watching the sun come up. Then hadn't gone to sleep that night. An all night make up session was in order after Ashley said she couldn't go to Spencer gig because she had a photo shoot to do with her own band .Spencer looked across to Ashley and kiss her gently on the lips a chaste kiss at that,

"hHoney I need to tell you something," Spencer said as she looked deep into Ashley eyes.

"Please tell me you coming out to your parents and the world, you know I hate sneaking around every where." Ashley replied with a smile.

"You know I can't do that," she said gently moving herself away from Ashley grasp and sat up. It was true she couldn't come out to the media because her music manger said that the label would drop her. So she had to hide this part of herself from everyone except Ashley."You know I am going to this movie premier on Friday cause I did the sound track for it right?"

" Yeah I course ...Your taking me," Ashley grin. But when Spencer didn't reply Ashley sat up tracing Spencer jaw line and continued to question her lover. "You are taking me right? Just as friends you know not as girlfriends. Even though you will look beautiful and I know that it will take every inch of me not to jump up on you and have sex with you in front of everyone. But I will do it for you."

Spencer couldn't look at Ashley any more. She knew Ashley was going to hate her for what she was about to say.

"Ashley you can't come," Ashley faced dropped.

" Honey I want you there ,you know I want you the," Spencer couldn't decipher what was going on inside her girlfriends mind. "The label told me if I go with you they will drop me. They know your my girlfrind."

Ashley couldn't believe what she was hearing. Spencer had promise that they could go to the premier together. To the world as friends but to them as a couple and that all that mattered.

"You said," Ashley stood up from their bed and walked across to grabbed a t-shirt instantly missing the comforting warmth of Spencer naked body against her skin." You said you didn't care what the label said any more," raising her voice slightly ,"If I remember rightly just last night you where saying you wanted to tell the world that you where fucking me."

"If you remember" Spencer said calmly but she could feel her temper rising every second. As she got up from the bed and walked straight toward Ashley naked. "When I said that you were teasing the hell outta me," she said this grin with a grin,"I would of said anything for you to fuck me" .

"Is that all I am to you a quick fuck!" she snapped back ,"someone to give you a quick release then leave me in the morning and pretend to the world that your straight! Well news flash honey, you not straight.! This bite proves that." Ashley point to the top of her thigh and there was the biggest shag bite she had every received.

Spencer cupped Ashley face with her hand looked straight in Ashley's eyes and moved in for a kiss. She stopped a breathe away from Ashley prefect lips and whispered "please forgive me that not what I meant. I love you. It was a mistake to tell you that you could come. I realise now I would never have been allowed to take you. I will tell the world soon. About you and me. I promise. Just not yet," before she could taste Ashley lips Ashley had pulled way and pulled on her trousers.

"fuck Spencer! All I want is to be happy and not hide my love for you anymore! The world knows I am gay and looked what happened to be nothing!" after Ashley had finished putting on her clothes back on she walked up to Spencer cupped her face and brushed away the tears that had now fallen with her thumb. "You think the world is going to end. It's not, it's just beginning." she then kissed Spencer. With more passion than ever before because she know this was it. The last time she would kiss the love of her life. She pulled away slowly and headed to the door and stopped when she grabbed the handle. With out looking at Spencer she said her goodbye.

"You said it was a mistake to invite me. I made a bigger mistake falling in loving you" and with that she exited the room.

Spencer looked at the door numb struck, she never thought Ashley would leave not after Ashley had said she would never leave her.

Spencer went to the premier with some actor hunk that her label had set her up with. She wanted to enjoy that but she didn't. Because she knew that this should have been her and Ashley night.

When she got home she tried to get in contact with Ash but every line she used was never answered . Emails never got a reply.

After 3 months of no contact from Ash, she thought that Ash had even up on her and moved on. That what the picture was saying in the magazine after all. Every week there was a different picture of her and another girl making out. So that's what Spencer did. She moved on. Concentrated on her music and record two new songs one was a top hit, "the resolution" with was a remake of a Jacks mannequin song and another which was never realised even though it was the best song she had every written but it meant to much to her to release it.

6 months later.

It was her fault for not coming out to the world

"Miss Carlin your on in two minute,s" one of the stage mangers shouted.

"Shit ," Spencer whispered " what am I going to do".As Spencer walked down the corridor to the stage she heard her que to go on the stage.

"tonight for the last time Spencer Carlin is going to sing her number one hit, " the resolution."

Spencer walked on the stage, the crown went wild. They all loved her. Why wouldn't they she thought as she waved and sat on her piano stool and looked at the piano. As the crown went silent waiting for her to play, it suddenly became clear to her all she wanted in her life was Ashley no one else. And that the six months she hadn't been with Ashley she was empty. They going to hate me now. She whispers as she placed the microphone near to her mouth.

" OK ...so I am suppose to be singing resolution but I can't, it doesn't feel right. So... erm... I wanted to share this song with you instead."

She could see everyone was wondering what was going to happen but once Spencer hit her first key of the piano she didn't care. She closed her eyes and started to sing. The crowd captivated she closed her eyes and started to sing.

**I've searched this shoreline to see if you still care **

**or wear my heart on your sleeve**

**I've been waiting here hoping **

**you'll come back home to carry me**

**away to where we used to be**

**but if your heart doesn't fall my way,**

**please know i wanted you to stay, **

**its lonely on my own**

Spence opened her eyes looked at Ashley.

**so take your take your time with me**

**and kill me slowly**

**so take your take your time with me**

**and kill me slowly **

**so take your take your time with me**

**and kill me slowly **

She didn't care if everyone who was watching her on TV knew who she was singing about. She could see the camera men where tying to follow her gaze. When they finally spotted the person she was looking at. All cameras where on Ashley as well as herself.

**I thought that you would never leave me**

**you made our love feel so real,**

**but that was then and where are you now,**

**its just me and this shoreline you've sailed so far away**

Spencer could see Ashley was fighting the temptation to get up and walk away but she didn't care she want to tell her and the world how she felt.

**you stole my heart and i cant shake**

**that you said i was just your worst mistake**

**your worst mistake**

**u stole my heat and I just cant shake**

**that you said I was just your worst mistake**

**theses scars I wear coz you didn't care**

Spencer fought back the tears and she continued singing

**so take your take your time with me**

**and kill me slowly**

**kill me slowly**

**kill me slowly**

**just kill me slowly**

**I've searched the shoreline to see if you still care**

**or wear my heart on your sleeve**

**I've been waiting here**

**hoping you'll come back home**

**to carry me away to where we used to be,**

**but if your heart doesn't fall my way**

**please know I wanted you to stay**

**to stay here with me**

**but if your heart doesn't fall my way**

**please know I wanted you to stay**

Spencer still looking straight at Ashley sing the last line out with all the love she could muster

**its lonely on your own**

The crowd didn't know what to do. Half where crying and the other half were in shock. Once Spencer took her eyes of Ashley, Ashley quickly got up from her chair and started to walk to the exit. Once Spencer saw that Ashley was heading to the exit, she jumped of the stage, ignoring the shock of the audience and ran after Ashley.

" ASHLEY," Ashley stopped , turned around and saw Spencer running toward her.

"Spencer please don't," she whispered not looking at the blonde.

"Ashley look at me," she said looking at the brunette.

" I can't do this now, not with every one watching," Ash pointed to the crowd and indeed everyone was watch. The audience, the presenters . All eyes and cameras were on them but Spencer didn't care.

Spencer held her former lovers face in her hands and tilted it so she had to look at her.

" Ashley I don't care." Spencer said in a whisper, " honey I don't care, not anymore." Ashley was trying to get away. Spencer didn't know what else to do. She had nothing else to lose so she told the truth. In front of the world. " Ashley I love you." said in a whisper.

When Ashley didn't react Spencer said it again. "This is a dream I will wake up soon and you wont be her." was all Spencer heard of Ashley reply.

" I will prove to you this aren't a dream," and with that Spencer moved in for a kiss. A chaste one at first the after Spencer was given entry into her lover's mouth Spencer could feel the smile that appeared across Ashley face. Wrapping her arms around her lover's neck she slowly pulled back from the kiss and rested her forehead against Ashley forehead.

They' smiled and looked up at each other "the world knows now princess about you and me" Ashley whispered." I don't care" and with that Spencer pulled into another kiss whilst half the crowd where cheering and the other was still in shock.

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><p>Please review<p>

**Song was goodbye was always your favourite word- by to be Juliet secret**


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